13 Cameras is dogshit. I hate it and the people who made it that is as frank and honest as I can be, how this ever earned a 5.2 rating on IMDB is insane, there is nothing to like about it. It would be so easy to make a passable film with the same plot but this fails on every front.
The straight forward premise is that a newlywed couple who are expecting a baby move into a house owned by a disturbed landlord who has placed cameras in every room to obsessively spy on them. How easy of a film is that to write and make at least watchable but not this film, no, in this film we spend an hour and twenty minutes on the husbands infidelity which he is hiding from his wife. Literally that is the fucking movie for most of it, we watch this unlikeable piece of shit hide the fact that he's having sex with someone behind his wife's back for over an hour. It adds nothing to the plot, he's not a complexly written character, he is just a douche bag with no redeeming features.
This tedious non-existent bore fest of a plot is all interspersed with moments of seeing their creepy landlord get off to cctv footage and him setting up cameras in their house. For over an hour it goes absolutely nowhere and then when it finally does it doesn't even have the decency to give you anything close to an interesting pay off. The landlord enters the flat, kills the husband (far too quickly for my liking, I seriously hate that character and the amount I had to watch him act like a douche) abducts his mistress and his wife and keeps them in the cellar of his home.
And here's where it gets even more ridiculous, the police turn up after being notified that the residents haven't been seen for seven weeks, they talk to this extremely obvious suspect who might as well be wearing the words "I am a serial killer" on his forehead, they have a look around and even enter a room in his home which they are shocked by the state and smell of, then literally leave going "well, nothing to see here". ...I'm sorry WHAT.
great police work gentlemen.
Yes I just spoiled the whole movie for you,
consider it a kindness my friends so you never have to sit through this steaming pile of garbage yourself.
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